He'd always thought the phrasal verb "to bargain against ones self" with its negative connotation was sort of silly because who better to bargain against than someone with the same values and with the same longterm commitment to spaniels.

My Desires In The Event That I Should Be Incapacitated

I wish to be resuscitated, intubated, rehabilitated, preserved by artificial means, preserved by natural means, preserved by preservatives, if you need to, you should take me home and feed me something home-cooked, perhaps you ought to give me a bath too and one of those study pillows so you could prop me up and maybe even pretend that it's me who's saying the witty things you say in my voice which are incisive though always discreet and maybe also give me money too.