"Just as no man is an island, no country is an island," the speech began seeking to foster multilateralism. The speaker, long known for his rhetorical style, immediately thought of several notable exceptions to the rule he just announced and so he waited and stared out at the audience wondering if they too had heard of Tonga.

Fact vs. Fancy: Did Ben Franklin Oppose the Elevation of the Bald Eagle to the Level of National Bird?

Ben Franklin did not entirely trust bald eagles even once referring to them in a letter from Paris as "bird[s] of bad moral character" lamenting their inherent laziness and lack of courage. The only reasonable alternative he could offer was the wild turkey for its impetuousness and sense of duty however the turkey did little to impress anyone in the Continental Congress during its hearings on June 22, 1782 and even Franklin conceded the deep vanity of the bird.

Favorite Moments in Judicial Activism: Nix v. Hedden

Nix v. Hedden, 149 U.S. 304 (1893), was a case in which the United States Supreme Court addressed whether a tomato was classified as a fruit or a vegetable under the Tariff Act of March 3, 1883, which required a tax to be paid on imported vegetables, but not fruit. Botanically a tomato is a fruit. The Court, however, unanimously ruled that it was, for these purposes, a vegetable.

Editorial: If the people decide they suddenly want a tomato to be a vegetable, that's an issue best left to the legislature and the electoral processes where the matter can be debated, incorporated into the platforms of competing candidates and, if such a decision be improvidently made, the people could rightly demand the elected official's resignation or outright impeachment (no pun intended). Still some things are too important to be left to the legislature or a century of legal precedent like repealing corporate campaign finance limitations.

The Persistent Problem of Tricky Test Animals: The Clever Hans Effect

"Clever Hans" was a horse that toured Germany around the turn of the 20th Century allegedly capable of doing arithmetic (by tapping a hoof a number of times corresponding to the correct answer to a math problem). Though the spectacle pleased thousands of German onlookers, it was later proven by psychologist Oskar Pfungst that the horse didn't know arithmetic at all but was instead able to read the cues of the onlookers as their excitement appreciably mounted as the horse neared the correct answer. However, after thoroughly studying Hans well enough to direct performances himself, Pfungst discovered something frightful: he himself couldn't contain his excitement enough to keep from tipping off the horse - for what could be more delightful than a counting horse?!?. Thus, the resulting "Clever Hans Effect" has less to do with clever animals than stupid researchers. The effect would go on to manifest itself with studies of the irresistible charms of Washoe the chimp and Rico the Border Collie.

Wind-Powered: Jasmuheen

During the 1990s, Jasmuheen (born Ellen Greve) was probably the most famous advocate of Breatharianism, the belief that food and water are not absolutely necessary for the sustenance of human life where there are sufficient quantities of spirituality and sunlight. She famously claimed that she could go for months without food, however several interviewers found her house stocked full of food. She claimed the food was for her husband.

In 1999, she volunteered to put her beliefs to the test by not eating for one week while being monitored by the Australian version of the television program 60 Minutes. An unequivocal failure, Greve claimed that the test was flawed because on the first day of the test she had been confined in a hotel room near a busy road, saying that the stress and pollution kept her from getting the nutrients she needed from the air. The challenge was moved to a sunlit hill but was quickly stopped as an observing physician saw numerous signs that she was nearing medical danger and was perhaps trying to surreptitiously eat grass.

She challenged the results of the program pointing to the experiences of her no less than 6,000 followers (mostly in Germany). Though she claims these thousands of followers, there is no evidence that any have lived for long periods.

Jasmuheen claims that her beliefs are based on the writings and "more recent channeled material" of the Count of St Germain. She also claims that her DNA has expanded from 2 to 12 strands, to "absorb more hydrogen". When offered $30,000 to prove her claim with a blood test, she said that she didn't understand the question.

This Week in Crazy: Troy Hurtubise

Troy James Hurtubise is a Canadian inventor noted for his often bizarre creations that he tests on himself in spectacular and usually dangerous ways. Though Hurtubise is credited with a wide array of inventions of varying utility the majority of his career has been spent in pursuit of that most elusive of dreams: a bear-proof suit.

Hurtubise's obsession with bears began on August 4, 1984, when he was mauled by a grizzly bear.

The encounter had a profound effect on Hurtubise. Returning to his home province of Ontario, he decided to learn as much about grizzlies as he could. However, how could he learn about these creatures without subjecting himself, once again, to their terrifying wrath? The answer came while he was watching RoboCop in his college dorm in 1987. It was then that he decided to build a research suit that would be strong enough to survive a close encounter without harming the occupant. Such a robo-bear suit would allow him to search for bears, and answer important questions “from the bear's perspective”, he was quoted as saying.

Seven years and $150,000 later, Hurtubise had worked his way up to the Mark VI, the suit he believed could protect him from a grizzly. In order to test it, Hurtubise consulted widely asking onlookers to try to simulate a bear attack upon him as he wore the suit.

These tests saw members of a notorious Canadian bike gang paid to maul him, a 300-pound log swung into his abdomen and solar plexus, a BMW driven over him, as well as Hurtubise simply tossing himself down the side of an escarpment.

Though initial testing on a Kodiak bear proved troublesome, as even a smaller bear was able to rip the helmet from the suit quite easily while the overwhelming weight of the suit effectively eliminated the possibility of flight or retreat, Hurtubise is said to be attempting to make the suit explosion-proof as well and hopes to sell the suit soon.

Revolution Today: Thailand

In April 2007, Bhumibol Adulyadej, the King of Thailand, was portrayed with feet superimposed over his head, an act extremely offensive to many Thai people, in a video posted by a YouTube user named "Padidda". The Thai government banned the site for lèse majesté, and a host of other YouTube users responded by posting other clips even more offensive to Bhumibol, leading to tens of thousands of views, including: photos of Bhumibol with a thumb toe for a nose; photos of Bhumibol hoarding shoes; photos of Bhumibol in a Podiatrist's lab coat; and photos of Bhumibol wearing a crown with the Dr. Scholl's logo emblazoned across the front, proving once again that the people united will never be defeated.

Favorite Misdiagnoses Explained: Coprolalia

Coprolalia is involuntary swearing or the involuntary utterance of obscene words or socially inappropriate and derogatory remarks. This was often misdiagnosed as Tourette syndrome. That is, until cases of deaf patients swearing in sign language were seen, showing that coprolalia is not just a consequence of the short and sudden sound pattern of many swear words but is, in fact, just another way to relax.

Favorite Psychological Phenomena Explained: The Dunning-Kruger Effect

The Dunning–Kruger effect is an example of cognitive bias in which "people reach erroneous conclusions and make unfortunate choices but their incompetence robs them of the metacognitive ability to realize it". They therefore suffer an illusory superiority, rating their own ability as above average. This leads to the perverse result where less competent people will rate their own ability higher than relatively more competent people. The studies conducted by Justin Kruger and David Dunning and not coincidentally conducted at Cornell University were made famous in their paper entitled "Too Stupid To Know It?".

Norman Mailer Describes Why He Didn’t Join in the Protests Outside of the 1968 Democratic Convention or the Silent Vigil Afterward

Ever modest, Mailer seems to offer that he was too tough to risk a beating by police as well as too tough to risk joining the candlelight vigil afterward protesting the police beatings. The means by which he was able to attain the objectivity necessary to make such statements may have something to do with Mailer referring to himself in the third person as “the reporter”:

The Protests:

“The reporter had an aversion to this. Besides, he was afraid of his own violence. It was not that he was such a good fighter, but he was not altogether courteous either – he had broken a man’s jaw in a fight not so long before, and was not certain the end of that was yet heard…He was not afraid of his own violence because he necessarily thought it would be so heinous to break a policeman’s jaw, good law-abiding citizen that he was! It was more that he was a little concerned with what the policeman’s friends and associates might do to him immediately afterward.”

The Vigil:

“The reporter did not join them…He could see them attacked by gangs, and the thought of taking a terrible beating in this company of non-violent McCarthyites and McGovernites, shoulder to shoulder with Arthur Miller, Jules Fieffer, Theo Bikel and Jeremy Larner, no, if he was going to take a beating, it was best to take it alone or with people he felt close to, people who were not so comparatively innocent of how to fight.”

--Miami and the Siege of Chicago

Actual footage of the reporter's own violence

Favorite Quotes Explained: Part 241

Quote: "I think therefore I am." --Descartes


Explanation: N/A as it's now accepted that Descartes was misquoted and actually said "I think I'd like some ham."

This Day in the History of Crazy: Thomas Eagleton

Thomas Eagleton (September 4, 1929 – March 4, 2007) a United States Senator from Missouri serving from 1968-1987 is perhaps best known for briefly being the Democratic Vice Presidential Nominee, sharing the ticket with George McGovern in 1972. Between 1960 and 1966, Eagleton checked himself into the hospital three times for physical and nervous exhaustion, receiving electroconvulsive therapy twice. The hospitalizations, which were not widely publicized, had little effect on his political aspirations. George McGovern had asked several politicians to join him and run on his ticket including Ted Kennedy, Walter Mondale, Hubert Humphrey, Edmund Muskie and Birch Bayh, all of whom refused. McGovern sought to ask then-ambassador to France and minor celebrity Sargent Shriver to run with him but Shriver was reportedly unreachable by phone on board a flight for Moscow. McGovern next asked Senator Gaylor Nelson who declined but suggested Eagleton. Perhaps frustrated, McGovern asked Eagleton with only minimal background check. Eagleton accepted with alacrity making a decision in the process not to inform McGovern of his history of serious mental health issues including a powerful course of anti-psychotics which allowed him to serve as Senator though they were issued in his wife’s name. The first whiff of Eagleton’s possible instability may have come when he made anonymous mention of McGovern’s fondness of Acid to journalist Robert Novak. It has since been speculated that Novak may have manipulated the overly-suggestible Eagleton. Eventually Eagleton admitted to McGovern some of his history of hospitalizations but admonished McGovern that if he tried to remove him from the ticket he would fight it with everything he had (left). Eventually Eagleton agreed to withdraw but only after McGovern read a statement that Eagleton had prepared which essentially said that Eagleton was not crazy and that it was those who suggested such that were actually crazy. McGovern went on to lose the 1972 presidential election in what was then the second largest landslide in U.S. history.

ALTERNATIVES TO DEFINING INSANITY AS DOING THE SAME THING BUT EXPECTING A DIFFERENT RESULT:

-doing the same thing but expecting Steve Guttenberg to now be flattered by your rendition of the song that the three men sang to the baby in the movie.

-eating nothing but potatoes but expecting to be something other than coquettish.

-only toweling off your feet and then not expecting the rest of the bananas glacee to drip down from your torso where you spread it in an effort to demonstrate you were the kind of guy who enjoys the finer things in life.

-stealing packets of butter from restaurants without a real plan as to how to transport them without them perishing en route.

-foolishly believing that by eating only sticky foods you’ll be able to reverse the process of your molecules slowly dislocating that the ferret told you in no uncertain terms was too far gone to undo now.

This Day in the History of Crazy: Dr. Franz Lipp

The Bavarian Soviet Republic was part of the German Revolution of 1918, the short-lived attempt to establish a socialist state in the form of a council republic in the Free State of Bavaria. Established on April 6, 1919 by the Independent Social Democratic Party of Germany (The “USPD”), the USPD would not retain control for long perhaps because of poor personnel decisions including the installation of Dr. Franz Lipp as the Foreign Affairs Minister. During his brief tenure, Lipp, who had been admitted to psychiatric hospitals several times, unilaterally declared war upon Switzerland for their presumptive refusal to lend the Republic 60 locomotives, sent threatening and altogether lude letters to the pope and sought the personal intervention of Vladimir Lenin via cable after claiming that the ousted former Minister-President Johannes Hoffman fled to Bamberg and took the key to the ministry toilet with him. The regime collapsed within 6 days.

Le Pétomane

Le Pétomane was the stage name of the French professional farter and entertainer Joseph Pujol (June 1, 1857 - 1945). His stage name combines the French verb péter, "to fart" with the -mane, "maniac" suffix, found in words like musicomane (music lover). In English, a translation might yield "the fart maniac". His profession can also be referred to as a "Flatulist," "Farteur," or "Fartiste."

Pujol was born in Marseille. He was one of five children of François (a stonemason and sculptor) and Rose Pujol. Although a baker by profession, Pujol would entertain his customers by imitating musical instruments, and claim to be playing them behind the counter. Pujol decided to try his talent on the stage, and debuted in Marseille in 1887. After his act proved successful, he proceeded to Paris, where he took the act to the Moulin Rouge in 1892.

Some of the highlights of his stage act involved sound effects of cannon fire and thunderstorms, as well as playing 'O Sole Mio and La Marseillaise on an ocarina through a rubber tube in his anus. He could also blow out a candle from several yards away. His audience included Edward, Prince of Wales, King Leopold II of the Belgians and Sigmund Freud.

In the following decade Pujol tried to 'refine' and make his acts 'gentler'; one of his favourite numbers became a rhyme about a farm which he himself composed, and which he punctuated with the usual anal renditions of the animals' sounds. The climax of his act however involved him farting his impression of the 1906 San Francisco earthquake.

With the outbreak of World War I, Pujol, horrified by the inhumanity of the conflict, retired from the stage and returned to his bakery in Marseille. Later he opened a biscuit factory in Toulon. He died in 1945, aged 88, and was buried in the cemetery of La Valette-du-Var, where his grave can still be seen today. The Sorbonne offered his family a large sum of money to study his body after his death, but they refused the offer.

Johnny Depp has repeatedly expressed interest in portraying Pujol in a major motion picture.