WHAT FOLK WISDOM MIGHT INSTRUCT ONE TO DO IF LIFE GAVE THEM PRODUCE BESIDES LEMONS:

1) When life gives you broccoli relax and enjoy nature’s intestinal broom

2) When life gives you pineapples feel free to brain passersby

3) When life gives you mushrooms there’s romance in the air

4) When life gives you pre-washed miniature spinach look for changes at the office and/or hang on for the ride of your life.

5) When life gives you yams go ahead and accept that you need a stronger under-arm deodorant than most.

6) When life gives you passion fruit, be sure not to miss Dogs With Jobs on Animal Planet—they sure seem only too happy to work, what’s your problem?

7) When life gives you blood oranges you will be betrayed by someone close to you—that is, unless you get them first.

8) When life gives you sprouts go ahead and make lemonade anyway—it’s a burst of country-fresh refreshment.