"What do you mean 'you've always thought that eastern standard time was the correct time', Captain?"

"Just what I said: eastern standard time is the correct time."

"But we're in the central standard time zone."

"Well, it can't be two different times at once or nobody would ever be able to make plans. I think they've got it right in the east. It's 8:15 right now, not 7:15. And just as sure as the sun is risen, you can't tell me that it's 6:15 or 5:15. After all, our founding fathers came from the east."

"The sun's probably not up in Oregon yet so it makes sense for it to be 5:15."

"Loggers and tramps. I'll give them 20 more minutes--probably had a bit of a bender last night."